I wrote last year about my complicated relationship with Tory Burch. On one hand, she makes some gorgeous things. On the other hand, I really feel like she is WAY overpriced. (Real talk: I own two pairs of Revas and one pair of slip ons, and they are NOT the most comfortable shoes of my life. Not even close. I supposed I suffer for fashion because I just LOVE those little gold medallions sparkling on my toes. Plus, Revas make my size 11 monster feet look super cute and little.)
I also have a complicated relationship with Kate Spade. I really, really adore her handbags. My Cape Cod lobster tote from a few years back is my most favorite handbag of my entire life.
She also puts out the cutest clothes I have EVER seen. The sweetest little dresses and skirts and shoes….
All way, way, way overpriced. Kate Spade, my dear, it’s a cotton sundress. Why is it $500? Do people actually pay that? Why spend $500 on a Kate Spade sundress when you could pretty much go buy some Louboutins on sale?
Meh. It makes me sad, mostly because I obsess over almost every single article of clothing on the Kate Spade website. And now? They’re pushing stripes, stripes, stripes aka nautical, nautical, nautical.
If you know me, you know I can’t resist a nautical dress. I just can’t.
If I had a million dollars, here’s what I would want from my on/off again love.
|This is like the holy grail of all dresses ever.|
|Or maybe this one is. POLKA DOTS. And navy. And ruffles AND a belt.|
|Ahhhh, nautical coat. I want to wear you with my red skinny cords and boat shoes.|
|Stripes and sequins! (Oh wait, that’s only like my favorite blog. Haha.)|
|The sweetest little retro button down housewife dress. It’s begging me for some leopard flats.|
|WHERE IS MY YACHT. I NEED A YACHT RIGHT NOW.|
|Wait. A. Minute. IS THIS A NAUTICAL LEOPARD SKIRT?!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, KATE SPADE!|
|Oh. I love you coat. I really do. Even if you’re wearing hot pink pants when they should be RED pants, but hey, you know what? I accept you for who you are, nautical coat. That’s true love.|
|Stop being so cool, navy and red dress. I know you think you’re better than me, with your cute little waist and subtle pleats and nautical geometric print.|
|Oh hey. I’m just a navy trench. With big freaking ruffles. Here to ruin your day because YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD ME.|
[All pics from KateSpade.com]
Okay. I’m really overwhelmed now. I started out just wanting to post about that navy/white striped dress at the top, but then Kate Spade sucked my fashion loving soul from my body.
Readers, brace yourselves. It’s about to get worse than we ever dreamed.
Look. At. This.
You may be thinking. Oh. Hey. That’s a nice ship thing. What’s the big deal, Ter?
THE BIG DEAL IS THAT THIS IS A FREAKING CLUTCH. A NAUTICAL BOAT CLUTCH.
I can’t even. I can’t even……KATE SPADE. I hate you.
No, wait, I love you. Come back.
Why is this clutch $358? It’s like you made the most perfect thing of my life, and then you dangle it in front of me and are like, “Hey girl, I know you want me. I know I’d complete your life. But you know what? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU CANT AFFORD ME!”
I think I just had a psychotic break. This is too much.
Kate Spade. I…I….I can’t.